I'm pretty excited about this. Got off the phone with Steve Jobs last night and once he got a whiff of what I was up to, he jumped on board. Apple computers has been working on a way to release smells from their products since '97 but with a few tips, they were able to get this up and running overnight.
This is a video from where I farted (a bit) but thought it'd be ok because it was for research. I spoke to a cousin of mine who works in Nasal Sciences. He lent me a scent tracking device so I used it to follow the smell. I knew where I was farting (a bit) but I didn't know where the fart was going. I had to know.
It's not Anal Stenosis. Last post is now funny.
Try as I might, my camera was not able to get a photo of where I farted (a bit). A dark opaque translucent fog had set in on the area and my iphone shut down. It was like I got caught in a flatulent bermuda triangle, if that's even possible. I actually saw a plant die. and then I lost consciousness for about 11 minutes. When I woke up I was really dewy for some reason.
It's not funny.
It'll be funny if it turns out it wasn't anal stenosis, but until I know that for sure, it's not funny.
This is where I farted (a bit) realizing it was a small space. In my defense, I needed to hole up right away, and it was the closest space that had no human in it. Who faxes anyway? As I attempted to escape I did bump into someone who was picking up printouts in a rush for a meeting. But I will say this about that person. Had they followed TAXI GREEN policy and printed on both sides they would have gotten out of that little deathtrap twice as fast. Sure, I'm guilty of farting (a bit), but their printing crime stinks far worse.
This is where I farted (a bit) but didn't feel bad. I was enjoying a coffee, that i found out way way later, sometimes causes these things to happen (a bit). I feel like sometimes everyone tells me these things last. I do feel bad about the person that came out of the bathroom and got the blame for it from two account people that delivered a very timely stink eye. And yes, I may have signaled in that person's direction that they were the culprit, but hey, who makes a pitstop in the office at 9:08am anyway?
This is where I farted (a bit) while bounding up the stairs. This was my fault. I usually can take 4 stairs in one leap quite easily, but i got excited and went for that 5th step. Let's just say the extra 'extension' made me vulnerable (a bit) to what followed. I got what was coming to me though, since it happened at the bottom, then quickly wafted up and caught me at the top. Just glad it was a 'pre-lunch' incident.